Hello and introduction and I'm so tired and sad and.....

Hi all, I've found tremendous comfort reading the messages on this board.

About me, I've just turned 40 (ACK!) am single, never had kids- still hope to have some. I've always had horribly heavy periods, I can clearly remember bleeding through about 13 years ago, but was misdiagnosed for years. I can't even begin to tell you what the quack I went to told me, and she's one of the top rated gynos in NYC. Anyway, earlier this summer my (new-ish) doctor, who is a professional and wonderful doctor and human being, suggested some tests, I've been hyper stressed and a slug so had been gaining weight (am chunky to begin with). About 4 months ago I had an ultrasound and more and they found fibroids. I didn't think much of it. Doc told me to lose about 50 lbs. (ulp) because he thought that the weight cased excess estrogen and perhaps losing it could help with symptoms. I panicked about the huge weight loss commandment and only succeeded in gaining. Sigh. Anyway, my symptoms were getting better but have hit a horrible low recently. I have those gushes of blood and it can actually push through my tampons, it's worst at night while I'm asleep or if I'm sitting- I actually have to run to the bathroom because so much comes shooosing out of me. I travel a lot for work- last year was of the craziest years of my life in terms of work and travel, but I just cancelled a tirp overseas in March because the thought of sitting on a plane and having gallons of blood come pouring out of me is more than I can take just now.

I'm not entirely well, have several chronic medical conditions including PCOS and IBS which are a huge factor in the weight gain and also make it incredibly difficult to lose weight. I can't tolerate artificial sweeteners and a host of other foods and ingredients.

I've now given myself a new directive to lose as much weight as I can (I can't set weight goals, they never work and it's a nightmare for me to lose weight with my conditions) and to work out and try to feel physically better. I'm self employed so under huge stress as far as my finances and every other thing.

I feel better at least having somewhere to come to 'talk' about this and would so appreciate any advice or thoughts. I'd like to avoid surgery, I'm very self sufficient and can't think about my smothering family around, and my dad is elderly and I don't want him to worry - it's too much pressure on me.

Thanks for being here.
C.